(via the-moon-was-high)

i hate sleep paralysis. hate hate hate

it’s been awhile since i’ve had it but i did today. not fun, not at all.

this time i was dreaming that i was at my grandma’s house, and for some reason  annie was there with my mom making cookies. i started feeling that horrible feeling and told them i was gonna walk home. my heart started beating really fast and gravity was shoving me down, kind of felt like salvia. everything was blurry and even when i crawled i couldn’t get anywhere. i slowly realized i was dreaming, but still couldn’t move. i was screaming at myself in my mind to open my eyes because my mind was awake but my body was still sleeping. i tried to move my legs and tried to make sense of everything but i couldn’t do anything. my heart was beating so fast, it was terrifying. so eventually i woke up and felt disoriented as fuck. still couldn’t really open my eyes or figure out where i was so i just went back to sleep. i immediately started dreaming again, but this time it was just me sitting in the living room with my mom and caleb. i started crawling on the ground (in my dream) and started panicking and couldn’t figure out if i was dreaming or not. i asked caleb if i was dreaming and he was like “no you’re awake right now, what the fuck is going on?” my heart was beating so fast and the room was spinning. then i felt my phone vibrate when i was sleeping, so i realized i wasn’t awake. at first it was a relief, but i panicked when i still felt so terrible. it was like being on the gravitron, while drunk, blind, and paralyzed. eventually i woke up enough and figured out where i was. meh

i hate that shit so much.